by Christi Nogle
A glance after dinner at the tree line, and I know we’re going to try. I move the swaddled figure from the bottom of my pack into my front pocket. The shape is porcine, ursine . . . canine? Four-footed, anyway, weighted forward as though moving with leisurely power.
We walk away from camp unseen, or if seen, uncalled for. We are unpopular workmates, you so quick to anger and me your silent goon.
We keep a straight line until we’re thick in trees, search another hour for the clearing. We walk over a low hill and down toward this home, this hateful place that keeps eating at us. In twilight it looks sketched in pen and dark water wash.
“You remember where?” you say.
I nod.
“Then get to it.” You’re off to gather wood.
I find the rusted shovel in what was the garden, find the place, bury the thing. You build the fire just off the front steps. Though we planned to see about finding something like a bed, we stretch out on the porch and fall asleep in firelight
The thing is still emerging when my eyes open. The fire blazes four feet, higher. The thing is well-lit on the other side, but I’m uncertain of its shape. It is birthed now, standing, stretching, coming down with a spring in its joints. Weighted forward, moving slowly around the fire.
The rest is a confusion of sparks and coarse, strong-smelling fur. We dance with the gentle bear, caress it. Then, its body gone, we feel its force in our muscles. You and I hold hands and dance into the fire. We kick coals onto the porch where they catch. You kick a log through what used to be a window.
Flames rise higher than the stars. When it’s all down to shimmering coals, I let my hot eyes fall closed. When I open them, I’m shivering on the porch step, the house cold and whole behind me. The little figure gripped in my hand now has a different shape. For now, its power is gone.
My crying wakes you. You comfort me, promise we can try again.
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Christi Nogle‘s short stories have appeared in publications such as Hermine Annual, Vastarien: A Literary Journal, and Three-lobed Burning Eye. Her debut novel Beulah, a dark coming-of-age story set in small-town Idaho, releases on January 25, 2022. Follow Christi at christinogle.com or on Twitter @christinogle.
